Planning fanfic

Just so you know, I won't be posting again until about Friday, as I'll be planning my first ever CM fanfic and will be posting the first part on Friday. In the meantime, here are a couple of pretty pictures of Reid and Hotch to keep you company (screencaps courtesy of Criminal Minds Fanatic Screencaps ). See if you can guess which episode these came from before you follow the link:

SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Just so you know, a) I'm drunk and b) Reid is still my favourite, of course, but I'm becoming increasingly obsessed with Hotch/Thomas Gibson. What can I say? I've always liked an older man ;)

So imagine my delight, when, after a couple few says sulking about AJ/JJ, I logged back onto Twitter, checked my CM list and  found these two tweets from Thomas

http://twitter.com/Gibsonthomas/statuses/26122306162

At Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor pulling for a great US team! Hopefully the weather's a bit better tomorrow! (On Friday, I presume)


http://twitter.com/Gibsonthomas/statuses/26197901556


Amazing day at CM (Celtic Manor not the other CM) US team up 6-4, Euro team roars back, play called for darkness. Tomorrow will be INTENSE! (Today- i.e. Saturday)


Wait, so wait. Thomas is in  Great Britain?! He's in MY country? The same country as me? The same country that I am in, right now?? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Seriously. I was really, genuinely thinking of heading down to Celtic Manor, but that would be stalking. So I won't do that. Because stalking's bad. Yes.

JJ

Well, that was horrible. Just watched 'JJ' online and I have tears in my eyes as we speak. Yeah, it was the last line that got me. But let's not be sad, let's celebrate the awesomeness that is JJ and the amazing acting and presence of AJ Cook.

To keep with the 'Joy of Six' theme, I present to you my all-time favourite top six JJ moments. Feel free to correct me if I've gotten an episode title or any other details wrong. I have a rotten memory even when it comes to classic TV moments. Ok, counting down from 6 (Spoilers for the whole series, all the way up to 'The Longest Night' and 'JJ'):

Finishing "Finishing School" (I promise)

Alright, let's do this so it's done. Tomorrow is going to be depressing enough with JJ's last episode, without this hanging over us.

This is the third and final (yes, really) part of the recap. Here's part one and part two.

Spoilers for the book follow, of course...

Finishing School Part 2

Ok, here we go with the second half of Finishing School, by Max Allan Collins, which I started recapping here.

Part two, of course, also contains spoilers for the book...

The Longest Night: The Longest Stream of Consciousness About It

 Yay, so after a little poking around, I've watched The Longest Night through the magic of technology. Since these are my thoughts on the episode, I'm going to chuck out a spoiler warning. Warning: the text below contains spoliers for The Longest Night. Spoilers....starting...now!

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Almost Time-The Joy of Six!

Ok, I'm so excited. Here are the preview photos of The Longest Night that are on the CBS CM website







And here's the video recap of Season 5 (Actually, I should have probably put this first. Oh well.)



Ok, so I have to pull an all-nighter anyway, so I'll probably rewatch Our Darkest Hour whilst The Longest Night is actually airing across the pond and then I'll find TLN, watch it and give you a bonus post with my thoughts on it. Have I mentioned how excited I am?? Read on for why I think Season Six is going to rock, despite JJ going.

'Finishing School' Recap and It's Nearly Time!

Right, ok, I'm here. I have to keep reminding myself that the upkeeping of this blog requires more than "researching" by doing a MGG search on Tumblr. Hours of fun.

Ok, so a quick recap about the book Finishing School and then we can squee about Season Six starting tomorrow! (starting officially in the US and maybe Canada?, starting unofficially for everyone else ;))


Finishing School Recap

Needless to say, there will be spoilers, for you know, the book.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

So I finished the CM book Finishing School and I'll recap it tomorrow. In the meantime, I went on a DVD binge as soon as I got back and rewatched most of the last season. And I also spent a little quality time with the CM 'Wild Mass Guessing' page on TV Tropes .

The entry on that page that gets me everytime is:

The whole show is just Reid hallucinating due to schizophrenia

Now, hear me out, I'm not saying I want the show to end up like St. Elsewhere, or to end anytime before I die, but check this. Ok, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeears in the future, for the show's final episode, can you imagine if that was the final reveal? Wackiness would ensue first, of course. Okay, here we go:


The team get a bad Bonnie-and-Clyde type case. A man and a woman are going around actual Quantico killing people. After a mixture of good ol' investigative detective forensic work and profiling, the team realise that the man is substantially older than the woman, and that the woman is of mixed race, possibly partially Hispanic. Yes, that's right. Your UnSubs are Gideon and Elle! They linked up after Elle found out that Gideon had left the BAU too and it turns out that even after they'd left the job, it had turned them both into homicidal maniacs! So they go on this killing spree right underneath the nose of their former "family" knowing their former colleagues will work out it's them sooner or later.


Once Gideon and Elle are sure the team must have worked it out for sure, they race to FBI headquarters to set the place on fire-with the team inside. They trap the team in the bullpen and drown the whole place with petrol. Gideon approaches Reid with a lit match in his hand. Reid simpers, "Why?" and Gideon says, "I was about to ask you the same thing, Spencer. This is your hallucination, after all. You made this whole thing up. You aren't part of the FBI. This team doesn't exist. And did I mention that you are not an FBI agent? You made this whole thing up."


Reid replies, "No, wait, why would I make this all up?"


"Because," says Gideon, "you're a schizophrenic, sitting in hospital next to your schizophrenic mother. Yes, you are a genius, with three PhDs, but the day after you handed in your third one, you also handed yourself in to the nearest mental health social services team. This little fantasy is something to pass the time with. Or should I say was something to pass the time with?" With that Gideon drops the match...


Spencer wakes up next to Diana. He's been sitting in the chair next to hers, in the sanatorium. Still trying to get orientated, Reid lashes his arm out and knocks over the glass of water that was on the side table right by him.

"Dr. Reid, not again!" hisses Elle, the nearby Hispanic cleaner, as she attacks the table with the damp cloth forever in her hand.

Spencer looks helplessly round at her mother. "What's the matter, Spencer?" asks Diana.

Before Spencer can answer, a female voice from behind them cries in delight. Both Spencer and Diana turn round to see Emily, another inpatient at the sanatorium, practically jumping up and down in her chair as Dr. Gideon, the on-duty doctor leads her brother and sister-in-law to her corner. Reid studies the couple intensely. Could he really have done to them in his mind what he thinks he did to them?

As soon and Aaron and Haley are within Emily's earshot and out of Spencer's, Haley says to her sister-in-law, "God, why is that geeky kid staring at us again, Em? I hope you're not friends with him."

Spencer is about to close his eyes again, in the vain hope that this is the dream, not the BAU, when he feels a gentle touch on his elbow. His favourite orderly, Derek, has come to take him to his session  with his assigned psychiatrist.

"Cmon kid" says Derek.

To get to the psychiatrist's room, they must cut through the courtyard. There's a police car parked right there, right on the gravel path surrounding the grassy quad.


"Hey JJ, Will, what are you doing here again?" Derek shouts at the two uniformed cops leaned up against the car's doors.


"Got another complaint in town about Greg Foyet" The female cop called JJ hollers back. "For an inpatient of yours he sure gets around town."

"That's because he's getting a couple of day releases; he's nearly ready to go back into the community. Has he committed a crime or something?"

"Noooo, not exactly" admits Will, much to JJ's chagrin.

"Then stop staking this place out, man" spits out Derek, "it upsets the patients!"

He and Spencer continue across the courtyard to the other set of rooms housed in a separate building. As they pass the first door in the building, the hospital's "computer therapist" pops out.

"Hey guys," says Penelope, "Is the handsome doctor here joining us for an Internet learner session today? Please don't tell me he's going to art therapy or music therapy or any of that crap".

"No baby girl, he's going to see his psychiatrist. As soon as they're done, I'll bring him right back here". promises Derek.

From inside the room, Spencer hears the other computer therapist, Kevin, calling, "Hey, Penelope, come and look at the chart Dave made with one of those online programmes!"

"Nice work, Mr. Rossi!" coos Penelope, going back into the computer lab.

Dr. Tobias Hankel

The End

News Round-Up

Right, sorry (again) for not posting yesterday. My friends and I had an all-day drinking session. Started around 12.30pm and I didn't get home until 11.30pm. And I wasn't in any state to type, let alone type something you'd want to read.

The best thing about yesterday was that I managed to get the phrase 'eidetic memory' into a conversation for the first time. My friend was talking about how she bumped into someone she went to junior school with last week, and the boy remembered how my friend had slapped him 20 years ago. Ok, I know that's more elephant's memory than eidetic memory, but I was still pretty proud of myself for even remembering the term 'eidetic memory' at that stage in the evening.


And now, the news...


I'm still nursing a hangover so I thought I'd keep things simple by relating to you all the CM/CM alumni news I've been catching up on today. Obviously, as soon as they heard I was out all day, the entire CM world decided to go social media and contest crazy.

• MGG and Joe were asked, on Twitter and Facebook respectively, where they were and what they doing at the time of the 9/11 attacks, 9 years ago yesterday. Matthew replied: "I was less than a mile away from ground zero amid the confusion and destruction. Overwhelmed by the love support and kindness New Yorkers where showing while trying to make sense of that tragic day. My humblest love, respect, and thanks to all who helped and all we lost. A wonderful city in a wonderful country in a wonderful world". Joe replied: "I was getting ready to start working on the show First Monday. They postponed it for a week or so". Earlier, Joe had tweeted "I hope everyone is flying their flag today in honor of those who lost their lives 9 years ago today....never forget".
•  I missed all the drama, but apparently you all had some problems accessing the fantastic Criminal Minds Fanatic Blog yesterday. The issue was quickly resolved and now the blog is fine and dandy.
• Speaking of that blog, they're helping to run a Vampire Mob contest. Vampire Mob is a webseries with Kirsten Vangsness as part of the cast.
• Anyone who's been following the Nikola Tesla fever on MGG's Twitter feed will not have been surprised to see Thomas Gibson tweet that MGG shares fun facts about the world-changing inventor with cast and crew.
• AJ tweeted that she cleaned her closet and found " some interesting things like my wedding shoes, jeans in EVERY size and a shirt with a bedazzled dragon.Yikes".

Right, I'm going to carry on feeling sorry for myself by watching some of season 4 before I head off to the airport. Hopefully when I come back from holiday (next Sunday) I'll be a more interesting blogger-making and posting fancfic, fan vids, picspams, doing episode and book recaps etc.-instead of just getting all my news off Twitter, 16 hours after you've already read it.

Ciao for now! Meet me back here in a week.

Yay! My first Criminal Minds novel arrived.

 Sorry for not posting yesterday. I had some family shizzle going down. All sorted now, so I can go back to pretending that Criminal Minds is real and I'm the love of Reid's life.

I'm probably the last person left in the galaxy to start reading the Criminal Minds books, but hazaar, my first one has arrived from Ebayland:

I'm still on the prologue, but this is my favourite bit so far-

He sniffed; he stepped. He sniffed; he stepped.

I feel a new dance craze coming on. I'll recap the whole book once I've read it. I'm going on holiday on Sunday for a week, so will probably read it all then.

 Actually the best thing about having any book to read is that I get to use my Reid bookmark:

Yeah. Don't get it twisted. I'm the one keeping ebay in business and putting food on half the sellers' tables.

I'm signing off now to go stare at my Twitter feed-MGG has been tweeting!

Watch your back, Da Vinci!

Ok so here it is, the grand unveiling...

 ...of The Reid's Map Criminal Minds Portrait Collection! As you will quickly gather, I only have, like, 5 colours on my phone, hence why half of them have the wrong colour hair and why they're all the same skin colour as ghosts.

Hotch

Prentiss

Rossi

JJ and Will

 Garcia

Morgan

And I thought that, since I was sober for once, I'd have another crack at Reid (so to speak)

Hey, what do you mean, "Oh, Escaped, are you sure were sober this time?" I did half of these on a bus. And the rest...well, ok, maybe my natural talent lies elsewhere.

Btw, I was thinking of doing Jack and Henry, but then I thought that'd be a bit too creepy, even by my standards. Because none of this is already creepy at all.




In other news...

Speaking of pictures, as you will have seen on Joe's Facebook page, the cast were getting new photos done today, without AJ, obviously. </Prentiss> That sucks </Prentiss>

Awww...

Ok, so I started drawing the pictures and then my phone battery died on me, so I'm going to have to finish up and post them tomorrow because it's nearly 1am here and I can't be bothered to wait for my phone to charge. I know you're devastated.

So to make up for it, I'm going to post this video just because MGG is so sweet in it.

Look out Van Gogh!

A while ago I was hiding out in my Mum's room under a duvet (don't ask) with only my phone for company. It was pretty boring under there so I decided to take a leaf out of MGG's book and do some art. I drew these pictures of him on my phone. The first one is Reid and the second is MGG as himself:

At least I think it's that way round.
























Yes. Yes, I was drunk. But I'm going to be stone cold sober when I draw the rest of the current cast and post them on here tomorrow. Betcha can't wait!

You Know You're Obsessed When...

I like ripping off other people's ideas. And tonight it's the turn of Criminal Minds Fansite (aka Criminal Minds Wiki). In the forum, there's this great long-running thread called 'You Know You're Obsessed With Criminal Minds When...' There are some brilliant one-liners there and I'm so inspired by it that I thought I'd post 20 of my own, right here:

You know you're obsessed with CM when...

1. Every time you say sugar, you have to say it three times
2. You stop telling your family when you’re about to watch CM in case they stage an intervention
3. You hum the theme tune loudly at 3 in the morning
4. You buy a signed photo of MGG off eBay and then spend days looking at it and stroking his signature whilst whispering "preciouuuuuuuuuus" 
   
5.  Related to the above point, you suddenly understand the Crack is Cheaper page over at TV Tropes
6. On Skype calls, you start speaking like Prentiss does when Garcia’s on loudspeaker
7. You think about joining Scotland Yard so you, like Kate Joyner, can be headhunted by the FBI. Heck, you wouldn’t even mind your story ending like hers if Hotch would look at you the way he looks at her.
8. Even though you’re not in the US, you plan to stop what you’re doing on 22^nd September at 9/8c time and stare in reverence at your blank television screen for 42 minutes
9. You mentally zoom out of work meetings to think about what the Damn Network has done to AJ and Paget and when you start concentrating again, you literally have no idea what has just been said and who was saying it. It’s like you’re in a completely new meeting.
10. You no longer knock or use keys. You just kick down doors. Even your own.
11. You answer the phone at work with “Office of Unmitigated Genius”. Yeah, you better believe I actually did this. But only because I was pissed off with the girl who’s phone it actually was and I was trying to get her fired.
12. You create a CM Twitter List, but then lock it because that makes it more “special”
13. You one day want to be given reason to say, "OCD? More like OMG"
14. You start profiling yourself
15. You mistake your boyfriend for an unsub on a dark night
16. You start wondering what presents you could send the cast and crew. Not in a stalky way though. Well, yes, ok in a stalky way.
17. You think about going over to America and doing a road trip that goes through all the places featured throughout the series.
18. You say no to any smokin’ hot guy who asks you out on a dinner date
19. Some punk could break in and rob your house while you’re sitting there, watching CM, but you wouldn’t move a muscle (unless they went to take your CM DVDs, obviously)
20. You wonder how long it would take to learn the dialogue of each episode, word for word.

AJ Looks Like...

So season 6 will be waving goodbye to JJ, thanks to the Damn Network. I’m still pretty pissed off about that, but at least AJ has started her fresh start with a flourish by waving bye to blonde. Here are some pictures she posted through her Twitter account (yeah, I’m bringing up Twitter again. So what of it? I can quit anytime I want!):

She still looks beautiful of course, but so different! You know who she reminds me of? Fellow actress Zoe Henry, currently in UK soap Emmerdale:

 Seriously, look again:

Both boo-yoo-ti-ful!

Jammin

As I was creating this blog, Matthew (as in Gray Gubler-look to the right of your screen...) informed the world through his Twitter account @GUBLERNATION that he was "Relaxing in an air conditioned van, dancing to the doobie brothers with @JoeMantegna while [the] fearless crew melts in the heat". A few minutes later and this popped up: "Now we're jammin to "grazing in the grass" by Rick Braun".

It's clearly a sign. A sign that for the very first Reid's Maps post, I should inflict these beauties on you, until I can think of something to actually write for the second post. Don't say I don't treat you well...